Judgement Day is Coming

 

Sunday is a big day for the Million Dollar Sleeper. No, it’s not because it’s Memorial Day Eve or because every Sunday is a holiday for me in which I celebrate by doing absolutely nothing. Sunday is a big because we find out what the hell is going to happen with Grady Sizemore. As a three time Sizemore owner, Sunday is huge.

The Indians are expected to give us an update about Sizemore’s left knee tomorrow after they have spanned the globe asking doctors for second opinions and then asking for second opinions on the second opinion. This whole “deep bone bruise” stuff reminds me of the Carlos Beltran situation last year and I am growing increasingly worried that I will become Sizeless. The word surgery is being tossed around like they’re trying to warm us up for bad news. I think the Indians are worried about the backlash from Sizemore owners and are trying to ease us into accepting the inevitable.

Right now I’m guessing Grady is visiting the renowned holistic healer, Thor Ackman. Maybe a few cold showers, omitting dairy from his diet, plunging his face in the snow and a special concoction of cramp bark, cleavers and couch grass will save all of our teams from Doomsday. It’s very likely we all end up with eggplant colored faces while Grady makes a trip to the hospital. Til then, all we can do is relax, sit on our asses all day and do nothing… or do two chicks at the same time if you’re a millionaire like Ted Dibiase.

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