Team Names

Funny Fantasy Baseball Team Names 2013

Finding the right team name can you make you as happy as this guy
Photo Credit: Koshyk


Yes, an R.A. Dickey based team name is too easy. Why of course, Call Me Maybin is an incredibly wack team name. 


Let’s face it, really hilarious fantasy baseball team names are difficult to come up with. So rather than waste precious time trying to come up with names yourself, why not let your boy Dudley Do Work do it for you? Below are the best fantasy baseball team names for the 2013 season. They are also the funniest fantasy baseball team names of the 2013 season. How do I know they’re the best and the funniest? Simple, because the phrases “best fantasy baseball team names” and “funniest fantasy baseball team names” generate a shit-ton of hits on search engines. That may not have answered the question, but it didn’t need to. You’re here now. So join the Sons of Roto revolution and experience another Starbonell hand-crafted team names collection (with a couple of MDS gems sprinkled in). 


As always, these names are 100% original and did not come from any other sources. There are no lazy team names or corny-ass puns chilling on this list. We don’t believe in filling in our list with mediocre names just to flesh it out. Nope. Just pure, unadulterated genius. As usual, we are welcome to any suggestions from readers. Be warned though: only the best reader recommendations will grace this list (with credit included). 


Get a condom on that brain of yours, because your mind is about to be blown.


More after the jump:


Offensive Team Names

An 8-ball of Phil Coke

A-Ramming Pujols

Da Scott Downs Syndrome

The Dempster Babies

Eaton Mad Pussy

Fister Good Night

German Scherzer Video

Go Ahead & Pettitte

Hands Off My Niese
If She Cheats, Kottaras

Kristopher Negron? Please

Lonnie’s Chins ‘N Balls

Schaefer Vag

Stick It In Her Buchholz

Suck My Mar-cock-is

Ur Mom Likes It Ruf


Advanced Stat Team Names

ISO Horny

It’s Like wOBA

The K/9 Unit

WAR Children


Player-Based Team Names

The A.J. Griffin Show
The Ben Zobriety Test

Bloody Pollocks

Butt ‘Thole Surfers

Case of ‘Ells Palsy

The Constant Gardner

The Denard Dogs

Desmonds Are Forever
The Devil Drafts Prado

Duensing Checks In

Divide and Conger

The Domonic Spirits

Don’t Beavan Go There

Fatherless Bastardos

Getcha Brox Off

Go in, WEI-Yin

Gordon Swollenfoot
The Hardy Hars

Having a Grandal Time

Huffing Ethier
I Ain’t Neva Laird

I Like Big Butlers
I Prefer a Furbush

I Wainwright, U Wainwrong

Jhonny’s Mom Can’t Spell

J.P. Howell Movements

Just Duda Math
Kimbrel Slice

Lawrie and Order

Like, Totally Fiers

Little Starlings
The Matt Harvey Show

Me, No Darv. Yu? Darvish
Midnight Ride of Ben Revere

Minor Consumption
The Newborn Infantes

Never Beg For Headley

No Speak-a Janish

Not Quite Jan, Janish

The Pagan Angels

Pastornicky’s Sticky-icky

Profar, So Good

Rizzo the Rat's Pack
Sporting Hammel-toe

Ur Chone Finished
Victorino Mackey

The Votto Locos

Want 2 Touch the Heisey

We Shin-Soo True

Whoa (Dylan) Bundy!

Yes We McCann!
Youk’ ‘N Rally

Zambrano’s Zambronos


About Starbonell

Starbonell is the co-founder of Sons of Roto and one of the most insightful and colorful fantasy analysts in the game. Mixing intelligent and well-researched advice with an entertaining style of writing that is easy to digest, Starbonell is the king of info-tainment.