Walker, Houston Astro Turns In His Badge

“Yo MDS, all those walks from 2010 are Missing In Action.”

It’s time to check in on the peasant workers of the league and those trouble making, late-inning relievers; the Ugueth Urbina Pen Pals. Ryan Franklin tried to fool us by wearing Mitchell Boggs’ jersey, Chris Perez gave us a second straight poor performance and Huston Street says Alf was cat juicing before he hit a HR off him. It was an eventful night for the Ugueth Urbina Pen Pals. Also, Bud Norris turns in his badge after cleaning up the mean base paths of downtown Houston. All this and more in today’s edition of the UUPP.

Zach Britton (47% owned) is the latest Pitcher to take advantage of the struggling Red Sox lineup [6 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, ER, 2 K]. The strikeouts weren’t there, but he did induce 13 ground balls (four fly balls). Ground balls are great, but I’d rather have a fly ball Pitcher with more strikeouts and fewer walks. Britton needs a superb BABIP to have value in our game and it’s difficult to put stock into a stat that has a lot of room to move around, especially in the AL East. I wouldn’t pay for Britton, but I’d pull him out of the free agent pool and enjoy the hot streak while it lasts.

Clay Buchholz didn’t surrender a home run, but he did allow 12 base hits. Baltimore pushed four runs across the plate on Buchholz. If you own a piece of Clay and you’re looking for comforting, reassuring words, Charlie may provide you with that warm, fuzzy feeling at FireBrandAL.

Justin Masterson (71%) pitched well against the Royals [6.2 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, 3 ER, 7 K]. We’ll be discussing Masterson on Wednesday’s episode of Starbonell Station. If you miss the live taping, you can catch the show via the media player on the sidebar or blogtalkradio.com/starbonell.

Melky Cabrera (13%) went 3 for 4 with a double (8), a home run (2) and a stolen base (2) to go along with his two runs scored and two RBI while hitting from the two hole. Melky pushed the AVG back up to .301 with the effort. If the improved attitude and work ethic contributes to a healthy BABIP, he could end up hitting .280 or so.

Matt LaPorta (13%) went 1 for 3 with two runs and a solo shot.

Miguel Olivo (6%) hit a fly ball home run [must watch]. As a Raburn owner, I want the run or RBI. C’mon Olivo owners, you owe me. You’re only 6% strong, I can overpower you. Give me one or the other.

Justin Smoak (17%) hit his third HR.

If Bill Smith wasn’t fired for trading Johan Santana for a few baseball cards and a sack of marbles, he should be fired for dealing Wilson Ramos knowing full well that Joe Mauer wouldn’t remain at Catcher much longer. Ramos (5%) hit two HR (2 runs, 3 RBI, single), raising his AVG up to .378. Fire Bill Smith.

Brett Wallace (9%) is on fire. The top prospect, who has hit at every stop in his career (minus the 144 AB sample size from ’10), has six multi-hit games since April 15th (9 games). Wallace raised his AVG up to .347 with today’s 3 for 4 (RBI) performance.

After today’s game, Bud Norris was fired from the set of Walker, Houston Astro. He had to turn in his fake badge and everything. Norris pitched well against the Cards [6 IP, 7 H, 2 BB, 3 R, 0 ER, 6 K], per his usual. He now sports a 2.89 BB/9 through five starts. He was walking 4.51 per nine last season during the shows hay day. Hear me and hear me well. You do not let a Starting Pitcher who has a 10.29 K/9, 2.89 BB/9 and 16.5% LD% sit on the waiver wire. You grab that shit son! I paid for Bud Norris, you can get him for free in 88% of Y! leagues. It won’t be long until we see a BudNorrisFacts.com website.

Ben Francisco (20%) went 2 for 4 with two runs and two RBI, the action came from two-run HR (his fourth).

Ryan Roberts (43%) hit his 5th HR, he’s now ranked 30th among all players at Y!. Roberts raised his AVG up to .333 with a 2 for 4 day at the plate. He’s only eight HR away from tying his season high. The year was 2010 and his 13 HR were split between AAA (11) and MLB (2). If you can possibly sell high, don’t wait for my approval.

David Ross (0%) hit two HR. He may be the best backup Catcher in the game.

I hope all the Aaron Harang (73%) owners out there played him against the ATL on Tuesday. They would have been rewarded with this: 6 IP, 7 H, 3 BB, 8 ER, 2 K, 3 HR.

Brandon McCarthy gave up 14 base hits. 14 base hits.  Erick Aybar (16%) had two, Hank Conger (5%) had two and Peter Bourjos (21%) had three. Aybar is hitting .350, Conger is hitting .306 and Bourjos is hitting .321.

may I introduce to you the Ugueth Urbina Pen Pals

Chris Perez was beat up a little bit in a non-save situation [IP, 2 H, BB, ER, K]. Perez has given up earned runs in two straight appearances. This Vinnie Pestano kid looks interesting. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

Ryan Franklin put on Mitchell Boggs‘ jersey and blew another save. You’re not fooling anyone Franklin! Four singles, a passed ball and a throwing error did the job.

Brandon Lyon got the big W against the Cards despite giving up a run off two doubles (Holliday, Berkman). When Lyon loses the job you’ll want Mark Melancon (1%) on your team.

Joel Hanrahan took the loss against the Giants, but he only gave up a (leadoff) double. The run was unearned, his own throwing error was the issue.

Sergio Santos locked up his second save in as many days. Matt Thornton actually faced two batters in the ninth inning (Granderson sacrifice, Teixeira walk) before he was removed in favor of Santos.

Huston Street gave up a solo shot to Alf(onso Soriano). It was a small blemish that was overshadowed by his 9th save. I wonder if anyone accused Alf of cat juicing when he hit those 46 HR in 2006.