Fantasy Football Week Five

Randy Moss hauled in 4 receptions for 81 yards and Brett Favre’s 500th TD while the Patriots enjoyed their bye week. Randy had a lot to soak in and was matched up against a great defense, but still managed to give us 14 points in the world of make believe. Favre (264 yards, 3 TD) and Percy Harvin (97 yards, 2 TD) clearly benefit from having Moss on the field. Favre now has 502 career Touchdowns and possibly could have had his 503rd, but he overthrew Percy after Revis fell to the ground. If Percy had caught the pass and scored, I’m sure Revis would have clutched his hamstring (again).

He didn’t throw for a TD, but Mark Sanchez hasn’t thrown an interception in 2010. Pretty good considering he threw 20 picks in the ’09 regular season. Santonio Holmes made his first appearance with the Jets after serving a four game suspension, but didn’t make as big a splash as Moss (3 rec, 41 yards). LDT continued to get most of the rushing workload, he had 20 carries (94 yards) to Greene‘s 10 (57 yards, TD). The Shonn Greene TD run was pretty lame, he bounced off a Viking who didn’t even attempt to tackle him. [Video here]

Matt Forte can’t score from the goal line so he decided to break off a couple longer TD runs against the clawless Panthers. Forte finished the day with 188 total yards and 2 TD. He led the team in rushing and receiving (despite having only 22 yards through via two receptions). I wonder if Todd Collins set the record for worst performance by a QB in NFL history (6 for 16, 32 yards, 0 TD, 4 INT, 6.3 passer rating).

The Carolina football team is downright pathetic. Jimmy Clausen sucks hairy balls (29.7 passer rating vs CHI) and John Fox refuses to get the ball in the hands of his best player. DeAngelo Williams had 12 carries (51 yards), which gives him 68 through five games. DeAngelo is usually a slow starter, but he’s never going to get going if they don’t give him the ball. Matt Moore relieved Clausen and did his Chad Qualls impression, throwing two picks. The Panthers season was summed up nicely by the Julius Peppers INT and shushing of the crowd. [Game Highlights]

Don’t look now, but Terrell Owens leads the league in Targets (60) and is averaging 95 yards per game. After boring us through the first three weeks of the season, TO reminded us why he has his own cereal by pulling in 17 receptions for 324 yards and 2 TD the past two weeks. Those kinds of numbers are part of a balanced Monday morning breakfast. Ochocinco hasn’t done jack since his Week One outburst, but he is tied for tenth in Targets (45) among WR. The targets were the only hope for TO owners coming into Week Four, so I guess we have some pros to battle the cons of the WR formerly known as Chad Johnson. Cedric Benson had his first 100-yard game of the season (144 yards on 23 carries).

Tampa Bay’s defense is pretty soft (at best) and their run game is in flux. Carnell Williams led the team in carries (11 for 33 yards), but the team is clearly moving away from him and his putrid 2.6 yards per carry. Earnest Graham led the team in yards (65) on three carries. He scored a 1-yard TD, frustrating the unfortunate few who started LeGarrette Blount (4 carries, 3 yards). Kareem Huggins came back from his groin injury and received one carry. At least they have Josh Freeman (280 yards, TD, INT), who seems to be progressing well in his young career and Mike Williams (99 yards, TD), who is becoming a play maker in his rookie season.

So much for Sam Bradford‘s favorable matchup. The rook did throw 45 passes, but piled up only 215 yards to go along with 0 TD and 2 INT. One of those INT was returned for a TD. More bad news for Bradford owners, Mark Clayton hit the IR (knee). Danny Amendola (19 targets, 12 rec, 95 yards) is now the go-to-guy for Sam Odessa. Maybe one of these years Laurent Robinson and Donnie Avery will be healthy. Steven Jackson made use of the matchup and ran for 114 yards, but in typical SJax fashion, he didn’t break the goal line.

Jahvid Best technically had over 100 total yards, but the 67 rushing and 37 receiving yards had to be somewhat of a disappointment in a matchup against the Lambs. I have a strange sense of satisfaction seeing the anguish of Jahvid owners. Shaun Hill had a pretty good game (227 yards, 3 TD), he’ll likely get one more start (NYG in Week Six) before the Lions rest during their Week Seven bye. Expect to see Matt Stafford back at QB in Week Eight. Nate Burleson is back, him and Calvin Johnson had a pair of 50 yard games with two TD split between them. Someone get Ivan Reitman on the horn, we may have a sequel to the movie, Twins. Guess which one is the Danny DeVito of the two.

Hakeem Nicks is the man. After hauling in a career high 7 receptions in Week 3, he topped that with 8 rec in Week 4 and bested that again in Week 5 with 12 receptions. 130 yards and 2 TD came along for the ride with those 12 receptions and Nicks is now tied with Brandon Lloyd (?) for the most fantasy points among all WR. Steve Smith had his second useful game of the season (6-89-1), these two get the Lions next week. Brandon Jacobs had ten carries (to Ahmad Bradshaw‘s 16) and scored a short yardage TD. Nobody likes him.

It’s never a good thing when a team’s backup RB (Derrick Ward) is the boxscore Top Performer when he has only one carry (1 yard, TD). Andre Johnson should have been the Top Performer with his 95 yards. Houston didn’t show up to the game against the Giants. Matt Schaub sucked (196 yards, INT), Arian Foster had his first bad game (27 yards) of the season and no one else stepped up.

Ray Rice had a short yardage TD! Then he had another! It’s a miracle! Willis McGahee responded by scoring from 30 yards out. So much for Denver’s No.2 ranked defense against RB, they allowed 200 yards and 3 TD to Baltimore 1-2 punch (Rice 133, McGahee 67). Joey Flacco didn’t do much through the air (196 yards, 0 TD), but he did poach a short yardage TD from Rice and McGahee.

Denver couldn’t run the ball (surprise!), but Kyle Orton posted his fourth straight 300-yard game (with a side of 2 TD). The only game he didn’t throw for 300 yards, he put up a 295-yard game. Dude is on point. Brandon Lloyd led the Bronco WR with 135 yards and 2 TD and, as mentioned before, he is tied with Hakeem Nicks for most fantasy points among WR. That is crazy. Jabar Gaffney had 9 receptions for 87 yards, Eddie Royal didn’t do much (31 yards) and Demaryius Thomas was a blip in the boxscore (2 rec, 12 yards, Fumble Lost).

Seneca Wallace sprained his ankle and Cleveland fans were forced to watch Jake Delhomme throw two picks. Dehomme injured his ankle too, so Colt McCoy could start next week. Anytime I mention three Quarterbacks from the same team, you know it’s not a good situation. The Browns run game couldn’t get going, Peyton Hillis had 28 yards on ten carries (Fumble Lost) and Jerome Harrison continued to be worthless (6 carries, 6 yards). At least Hillis got it done via the pass game (49 yards, TD). These guys get Pittsburgh next week, yikes.

Atlanta didn’t need much to black and blue the Browns. Michael Turner hit them with the one-two (140 yards) and Roddy White connected with the big hook (101 yards, TD). The Kroy Biermann INT/TD was the play of the week and put the nail in the proverbial coffin. [Video here]

Watching Dwayne Bowe play football is painful. He dropped a TD that hit him in the hands and immediately dropped a short yardage pass that went right through his hands. I hate having this guy on one of my teams. Matt Cassel isn’t very good (156 yards), but Bowe isn’t helping (33 yards). There was some good news out of the KC-IND game, Jamaal Charles led the team in rushing attempts! Charles had 16 rushing attempts for 87 yards (Fumble Lost) to Thomas Jones‘ 8 attempts for 19 yards. Tony Moeaki had 50 yards receiving, he’s an adequate play at TE during the bye weeks.

The Colts had their first useless game of the season. Peyton Manning didn’t do much (244 yards, INT) and Joseph Addai had 50 yards (left with shoulder injury). Mike Hart scored the only TD, rewarding 0% of the fantasy community who started him. Silver lining, Pierre Garcon played and had 57 yards to Austin Collie‘s 48. It sounds like Addai isn’t hurt too bad and Donald Brown should be back for Week Six, so Mike Hart won’t be the most sought after fantasy free agent.

Maurice Jones-Drew owners should be posting anti-Marcedes Lewis hate speech in their Team Slogan text boxes. Lewis had a 1 yard TD reception, another from 27 yards and negated a MJD TD with a holding penalty. Mike Sims-Walker added to the MJD frustration train with a 7 yard TD reception. David Garrard had 3 TD (1 INT) with only 178 yards. MJD had 84 yards on 19 carries. It’s a shame Garrard started the game, the much anticipated Trent Edwards vs Ryan Fitzpatrick battle could have sold millions of pay-per-views.

Ryan Fitzpatrick had his third straight multi-TD game, he now has 7 TD through 3 games. I guarantee he doesn’t have a single TD in Week Six (because they have a bye), but if that doesn’t count, Baltimore will probably shut down the Bills pass game in Week Seven. Benefiting from the Trent Edwards release, Lee Evans pulled in 5 rec for 87 yards and a TD and Steve Johnson had two TD. Johnson now has three straight games with a TD. CJ Spiller had 5 carries with Marshawn Lynch out of town. Great.

Brandon Jackson finally had a good game (140 yards on 15 touches), but the bad news keeps on coming for Packer Nation. Cheeseheads curdled in fear after the Vikings traded for Randy Moss, but now they have to deal with the Swiss holes in their own offense. Aaron Rodgers suffered a concussion and is Questionable to suit up against the Dolphins (blame Mason Crosby for missing the Game Winning Field Goal). Jermichael Finley will undergo surgery today for a torn meniscus in his right knee. He’s expected to miss three to six weeks. Ouch! Andrew Quarless makes for a decent play with Finley down and Donald Lee hurting from a chest injury. Quarless is athletically gifted and has some upside.

The Skins couldn’t get much going on the ground so Donovan McNabb took things into his own hands arm. McNeezy threw for 357 yards and a TD, but still has only 4 TD through five games. Ryan Torain didn’t do much with Portis down and out. Torain rushed for 40 yards on 16 carries. He’ll have a better matchup next week when Washington hosts Indianapolis. Santana Moss had 118 yards and Anthony Armstrong had 84 yards, including a 48-yard TD. Armstrong basically made Devin Thomas expendable and makes for a decent grab in deeeep leagues.

Marques Colston was the recipient of 12 targets, about time! Colston pulled in 7 of those targets for 97 yards. Robert Meachem also got in on some action (57 yards, TD), Bob is getting on the field and is more involved with the offense lately. He has some choice matchups coming up (TB, CLE), you better make sure he isn’t a free agent in your leagues. Ladell Betts and Chris Ivory split the rushing workload (10 carries apiece) and it’s still not known whether or not Pierre Thomas will be back for Week Six.

Beanie Wells had 20 carries to Tim Hightower‘s four. Neither did shit with those carries (35 yards and 6 yards respectively). Max Hall took the majority of the snaps behind Center and Larry Fitzgerald had his best game of the season (yardage wise).

Oh my god, it’s a miracle. Felix Jones had 15 carries and he didn’t explode (literally). He did explode for 109 yards though. Tony Romo added 406 yards through the air (with 3 TD), but he threw 3 picks and TEN got the W. Miles Austin dominated (9-166-1) and Roy Williams continued to mock those who mocked him (everyone) with 87 yards and a TD. Roy has piled up 204 yards and 3 TD in his past two games.

Chris Johnson rebounded from a tough matchup and had his third multi-TD game of the season. He gets the Jaguars next week, cha ching. Kenny Britt had 86 yards and his third straight game with a TD. I know he has a corny name, but the 6’3 215 lb Rutgers product should be owned in more than 39% of Yahoo! leagues. Get on that.

This is Earth calling Vincent Jackson, Earth to VJax, the Chargers do not need you. You have no leverage. What the fuck are you doing? Phillip Rivers laughed in the face of Jackson’s agent while throwing for 431 yards and 2 TD. That would be his second 400-yard game this season and five straight multi-TD performances. Malcom Floyd went to town. Eight catches, 212 yards and a TD to be exact. Antonio Gates did his Antonio Gates impression, catching five passes for 92 yards and a TD. Mike Tolbert had 12 carries to Ryan Mathews 9, but didn’t do anything (11 yards, Fumble lost) to earn the workload. He poached a TD (again), that fat bowling ball looking bastard.

Michael Bush is the story in Oakland. 26 carries, 104 yards, a TD, 3 receptions and 31 yards receiving. I’m pretty sure Darren McFadden owners did not like to see that. Jason Campbell was back at QB (Bruce Gradkowski shoulder injury) and Zack Miller led the team in receiving (62 yards, TD). That’s 248 yards and 3 TD for Miller in the past three weeks. Louis Murphy continued to be useful (61 yards), DHB did not (nothing). Gradkowski will be the starter when he is back.

Kevin Kolb played well while filling in for Michael Vick (253 yards, TD, 103.3 passer rating), but Andy Reid made it clear that Vick is still the starter and will have his job handed back to him when he is healthy enough to play. LeSean McCoy played through his rib injury (like a man with four capital letters in his name should) and racked up 92 rushing yards and a TD. He added 46 yards via five receptions. With Kolb back at the helm, Brent Celek had his best game of the year (47 yards, TD).

Frank Gore has been a disappointment when it comes to Yards Per Carry, but he continues to get a large workload (124 touches through 5 games). The 3.5 ypc is surprising considering he has a career 4.7 average and the Niners used two early First Round draft picks on offensive linemen. The upcoming matchups against Oakland and Carolina should help. Alex Smith had his first 300-yard game of the year (only his second of his career). It was also his first multi-TD game of the year. Speaking of firsts, Michael Crabtree got his first 100-yard game of his career and first TD of the season. His yardage has gone up with each game (12, 32, 37, 58, 105), so we can only assume he will end the season with a 400-yard game. Get on that, asap.