Funniest Fantasy Football Team Names: 2013

Oh yeah, there are Aaron Hernandez team names
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beall


Others claim to have the “best” team names, but we all know that no one beats the Sons of Roto collection of fantasy team names. At other web sites, you find recycled, unoriginal, PG-style team names that fail to get the job done. You need a horrible, hilarious team name that shows off your “competitive asshole” side. 


If you are looking for offensively delightful team names that will make you the envy of your league, you’ve come to the right place. These are my babies. These are 100% homegrown team names concocted by yours truly. However, if a reader or commenter has a suggestion that I deem worthy of addition, I’ll include it with the rest of these gems. Send an e-mail to starbonell@gmail.com if you have any suggestions. And yes, feel free to get weird.


Have at it hooligans:


Aaron Hernandez Killed A Guy Team Names

Aaron's Defensive End (courtesy of Monique Mackenzie)
Aaron’s Gotta Gun

A-Hern’s Gun Show
A-Hern's No Longer TE (courtesy of Monique Mackenzie)

Great Odin’s Ghost!

Herner’s Burners

Lloyd’s Of Gun-don


Sexual Reference Team Names

2-Min Drill In Ur Mom

Eligible Receiver = Ur Mom

The Golden Taints
Got VD, But No Crabs (courtesy of Aaron Ball)

If She Struggles, Forsett

Kneel & Te-blow Me

Lick Dez Nuts

Motion In The Knowshon

The Rape-lisbergers

Sandusky’s Sandbox Stars
Sandusky Touched My Vick (courtesy of Don Brown)

She Wants My Lance More

Slob My Schaub

Spiller, Not A Squirter

Succop A Dick


Old School Professional Wrestling-Themed Team Names

The Crossface Murderers

Freddie’s Classy Blassies

Gettin Chief J Strong-dough

Great Balls In Chyna

Tatanka’s Reservation Rebels


Player Reference Team Names

A TJ Graham Of Weeden

Ballard On A Budget

The Brees Knees

Can’t Keep a Blackmon Down

The Chris Cooley Highs

Davone’s Bess Bets

Decker Then Buy Roses

Gould Jerry, Gould!

Hail Mary, Amendola

Henne 4 Ur Thoughts

The Ingram Toenails

The Kaep Smears

The Kerley Shuffles

The Nick Folk Heroes

Luck If Ya Buck

Marques Colston’s Creamery

The McCluster Fucks

Pause, No Romo

Pray @ Roscoe’s Parrish

The Prater Haters

Salute Ur Cecil Shorts

Snake Broyle Salesmen
Stomp Me & I'll Suh U (courtesy of Brent Baeten)

U Saw My Team & Rasharded

The Yo Gabba Gabberts


About Starbonell

Starbonell is the co-founder of Sons of Roto and one of the most insightful and colorful fantasy analysts in the game. Mixing intelligent and well-researched advice with an entertaining style of writing that is easy to digest, Starbonell is the king of info-tainment.