Funniest Fantasy Football Team Names 2014

More like “Just Beat It”
Photo Credit: Wallstreethodrod

Year after year, various websites claim to have the best fantasy football team names. Yet those of you who search for team names find nothing but corny, obvious, or just plain ole’ terrible options.

This is why I started the Sons of Roto football team name list, and several years later, it remains the single greatest source of the most original, hilarious, and (oftentimes) downright most offensive team names in existence.

All of these team names are Starboriginals. Except, of course, for the ones you suggest that are worthy enough to grace this list. Send an e-mail to if you have any suggestions for team names. And yes, feel free to get weird.

Have at it:

“Ray Rice Beat Up A Woman” Names
Carry ‘Em, Marry ‘Em
Dragging Miss Ricey
The Ray Rice Drag Show
Ray Rice’s Girl Drinks Duff
Ray Rice’s Punch Out!! (contributed by Robert Potyrala)

Sexual Reference Team Names
2-Min Drill In Ur Mom
Eligible Receiver = Ur Mom
The Golden Taints
Gronk If You’re Horny
I’m Ur Mom’s Back Judge
I’m Boykin Ur Mom
Kneel & Te-blow Me
Lucky Pierre Thomases
Motion In The Knowshon
Planet of the Gapes
The Rape-lisbergers
Sandusky’s Sandbox Stars
Sandusky Is For Da Children!
She Wants My Lance More
Ur Into Man2Man Coverage
Ur Little Dick Makes U PUP

Old School Professional Wrestling-Themed Team Names
Chief J Strong-dough
The Crossface Murderers
Freddie’s Classy Blassies
Irwin R. Schyster’s Schysters
Tatanka’s Reservation Rebels

Player Reference Team Names
Age of Ladarius
Any Givens Sunday
A TJ Graham Of Weeden
Ballard On A Budget
Bishop Sankey’s Juice
The Bortles Surfers
The Brees Knees
Can’t Keep a Blackmon Down
Decker Then Buy Roses
Do I Gotta Kaep A Bitch?
An E for Eifert
Gould Jerry, Gould!
Hail Mary, Amendola
Henne 4 Ur Thoughts
The Hurt (Jake) Lockers
The Ingram Toenails
The Joique Straps
The Kaep Smears
Keep Calm and Le’Veon
Luck If Ya Buck
Marques Colston’s Creamery
Marshawn’s Lynch Mob
The McCluster Fucks
The Mold Sproles
Money Don’t Grow on Crabtrees
The Montee Ball-Outs
The Nick Folk Heroes
The Prater Haters
Riley Cooper’s Klansmen
Snake Broyle Salesmen
So Fresh & Vereen
Wear a Kaep, Or Get VD
We Gon Run McCown 2Nite


About Starbonell

Starbonell is the co-founder of Sons of Roto and one of the most insightful and colorful fantasy analysts in the game. Mixing intelligent and well-researched advice with an entertaining style of writing that is easy to digest, Starbonell is the king of info-tainment.