Handcuff Rankings

Handcuffs are for cops and people who can’t get a boner without being dominated.

That’s what I like to tell people nowadays. I suppose a woman who wants to steal eight dollars and a Moe Ginsburg suit from you could fit in there too. All joking and Seinfeld references aside, handcuffs still have a place in our silly little game. RBBC situations across the league have really changed the fantasy landscape, making handcuffs more of a luxury than a necessity. Make the jump to see which handcuffs should be owned across all leagues and which should be on your watch list.

I’m not going to get into the Carolina, Miami, Arizona, Cleveland, New York, Indianapolis, San Diego, Seattle, Kansas City, New Orleans, Dallas, Baltimore, Oakland, Chicago, New England and Buffalo time-share situations.

Must Have Handcuffs: should be universally owned

Rashad Jennings. Maurice Jones Drew has a tear in his knee cartilage. Rumors of knee surgery ran rampant, but were eventually denied. Nevertheless, MJD is not playing in the preseason and his situation remains cloudy. Personally, I am avoiding MJD. Whoever does land the stout back must handcuff him with Rashad Jennings. Rashad is a favorite of Jack Del Rio and averaged 5.2 yards per carry last season (his rookie year). Even if I didn’t have MJD, I would entertain the idea of snagging Jennings before MJD’s owner tried to scarf him up. Watch the fantasy community go nuts when MJD puts himself on the trade block.

Anthony Dixon. Running behind a mammoth o-line in a run-heavy offense, Frank Gore is in a lucrative position. Prince Goro may have four arms and can kick Johnny Cage’s ass, but he is far from invincible. Gore has had major surgeries on both of his knees and shoulders and anyone who invests an early pick in him must grab Anthony Dixon. Brian Westbrook may technically be the No.2 RB on the depth chart, but he cannot handle a full workload anymore. Westbroken will likely be the passing down back in the event of Goro being defeated. Dixon will see the bulk of the carries and will be the more valuable of the two.

Kareem Huggins. I think everyone understands the fragility of Carnell Williams. More golf caddy than Cadillac, Williams has missed 26 games since his rookie season in 2005. He hasn’t reached an average of 4.0 yards per carry in the past four years. Would it be a surprise to see Kareem Huggins overtake Caddy? Hells to the no. Kareem is a must own for any Caddy owner and a good bet for anyone in the later rounds of a draft. In case you didn’t hear, Derrick Ward was released by Tampa Bay. Huggie Bear should see around 30% of the team’s workload, whether or not Caddy is parked in the garage.

Larry Johnson/Ryan Torain.Clinton Portis may not be 30-years old yet, but he is an old 29. He is 29 going on 40. Portis is 304 carries away from 10,000. The tread on the tires is wearing thin. Last season a concussion turned Portis into a tortoise. Another big hit could turn his brain into turtle soup. Everyone pretty much assumes Portis will not finish the season as the starting back in Washington. He is the 36th RB taken off the board in recent drafts according to FantasyFootballCalculator.com. Larry Johnson is the backup to own at the moment. He averaged 4.4 ypc in Cincy after leaving KC (2.2 ypc). If Gramma Ma isn’t motivated or pimp slaps another hoe at the club, Ryan Torain will be the flavor of the week. Torain, like Portis, was drafted by Shanahan and has injury issues himself. Willie Parker is still in the mix, but he will likely be released if Torain performs well on Thursday.

Ranking the Rest

Lance Ball Den Could start Week 1 with Knowshon Moreno banged up.
Tashard Choice Dal Felix and Barber are both injury prone.
Bernard Scott Cin Benson hasn’t played a full 16 game season.
Javon Ringer Ten Chris Johnson is 200lbs and had 408 touches last season.
Toby Gerhart Min Adrian is a bruiser, Albert Young is competing w/ Toby.
Jason Snelling Atl He saw action last season, Turner is a bruiser.
Redman/Dwyer Pit Whoever backs up Mendenhall is watch list material.
Brandon Jackson GB Ryan Grant already suffered a concussion this preseason.
Andre Brown NYG Jacobs and Bradshaw are good bets for injuries.
Jeremiah Johnson Hou Forget about Steve Slaton, this is your handcuff.
Chris Ogbonnaya STL Steven Jackson had back surgery, need I say more?
Bell/Weaver Phi Someone will poach a few carries from McCoy.
Kevin Smith Det Jahvid Best has a history of injuries.
Chris Ivory NO That one guy who made that one play. Mike Bell Jr?

Not Just for RB

Julian Edelman NE A must for anyone who drafts Wes Welker in a PPR league.