NFL Weather Report: Week 13

Watching rain hit the Browns football team is a form of waterboarding
Photo Credit: d.fauchner

Your boy Cheeks, the world renowned weatherologist, is back once again. I had to cut the weather reports short. I needed time to nurse my frightened weiner back to life after my extensive coverage of Chyna’s porn career. For all of you who sent letters: yes Andre (FYI: I nicknamed my ween Andre since he is a giant) is back to 100%. I’m off the injured list just in time for Old Man Winter to potentially start laying the smackdown on the NFL schedule. The last thing you want is for rain, sleet or snow to deter your playoff chances.

Just one quick heads up for this week 13; there is 71% chance of rain all game long in Cleveland.

The Browns have trouble moving the ball, even in perfect conditions, so Baltimore should be the number one ranked Team Defense for the week. Any type of rain would obviously put a damper on the passing game for both teams. I’m not sure Colt McCoy could even throw a TD in the NFL Blitz video game. Hopefully you aren’t in a position where you have to consider starting him, or any of the Cleveland wide receivers. Joe Flacco‘s ceiling will be lower so use other options if you have a QB ranked closely to Flacco in MDS’ rankings. A rain filled muddy day may finally be the game where Peyton Hillis finally pays off. Montario Hardesty makes for a decent desperation play as the Cleveland coaching staff said the rehabbing RB will be “more of a factor” in the offense this week. Ray Rice is the type of guy you start every week no matter what, but I think that Ricky Williams may actually be a decent option this week. He is just the kind of downhill runner who could Do Work in a messy game. I’ll even go out on a limb and make a classic Cheeks guarantee: Ricky Williams will score a TD this week. Put it in the books. [Editor’s Note: but will he do the Sticky Icky Woods Shuffle?] Or maybe I am just high?