Quick Week 6 Review

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Cleveland got knocked the f*ck out by Debo James Harrison. Mark my words, Mohamed Massaquoi and Joshua Cribbs will never again borrow their Beach Cruisers to Harrison. That’s my bike punk!!! Chansi Stuckey and the CLE TE game (Watson and Moore) figure to benefit while Massaquoi and Cribbs get in their old mans’ cars and run away. [Cribbs injury] [Massaquoi injury]

Susan B Anthony may be upset to see Roethlisberger back on the field, but I know Hines Ward (5-54-1), Mike Wallace (3-90-1) and Heath Miller (2-50-1) are happy. Rashard Mendenhall had 27 carries and a TD, yet Ben was still able to throw for 257 yards and 3 TD. PIT has to be the favorite to win it all.

Danario Alexander ended up on a bunch of my teams. I made the play for him in all leagues in which he was available. I don’t ask questions when Sam Bradford locks onto a WR, I just go out and get him. Alexander was a star WR at Missouri, who led the nation in receiving yards, and he is 6 foot 5 and weighs 221 pounds. Bradford hit him for a 38-yard TD in the first quarter. Sure Alexander has had FOUR surgeries on his knee since the Big 12 championship game, but he’s free and Danny Amendola is no redzone threat. Bradford made Mark Clayton useful, don’t play the waiting game with Alexander. [38-yard TD]

Mike Tolbert sucked once again (3 carries, 3 yards), but stole a TD from Ryan Mathews (12 carries, 63 yards) anyway. He is quickly becoming Jerome Bettis 2.0. Nobody likes him. And my nobody, I mean me. I hate Mike Tolbert. Malcom Floyd left the game (hamstring) and will likely miss Week 7. Patrick Crayton picked up the slack (6-117) and should make for a good short term rental against the Patriots. NE gives up a lot of points to opposing WR (5th most). We don’t know if Antonio Gates or Legedu Naanee will be able to suit up, so if you want to roll out Buster Davis in deeper leagues, be my guest.

Kevin Kolb (23 of 29, 326 yards, 3 TD, INT) went to town against ATL. I’ve heard rumors that the Eagles are lying about Vick’s injury, his season could already be done. I would look to deal Michael Vick for anything of use (I’m trying now). Vick has a small cult following and put up great numbers so far; where there’s a will, there’s a way. RIP DeSean Jackson. The game isn’t made for 175 pounders. Somebody warn Dexter McCluster and somebody pick up Jason Avant. [Jackson-Robinson Injuries]

Deion Branch out, Mike Williams (10-123) and Deon Butler (4-47-1) in. Justin Forsett had 10 carries (67 yards, TD) to Marshawn Lynch‘s 17 (44 yards, TD). This is Forsett’s modus operandi, receive less carries than the bum SEA brings in while outperforming said bum.

Jay Cutler came back and Johnny Knox had a great game, surprise!  He actually had his best game of the year, catching five and going for 120 yards. He still doesn’t have a TD and I believe that was the one knock on Knox coming into the season. Devin Aromashodu finally caught a pass! It took CHI six weeks to figure out that Devin Hester is a midget who shouldn’t be lined up on the outside all game long. 5 foot 11 inches, my ass.

Brandon Marshall led the league in targets this week with 17 (10-127).

Greg Jennings made the best of his 7 targets, catching 6 for 133 yards and a TD. That was his first 100-yard game of the season. Jennings owners can breathe a sigh of relief.

Nate Burleson posted his second 50-yard game with a TD in two weeks. Operating along side Calvin Johnson (5-146-1) has it’s advantages. Jahvid Best had 16 yards on 12 carries. Hahahahahahaha. Suck it Best. It’s a good thing DET has a Week 7 bye, they need to figure out who is going to be their QB.

Ahmad Bradshaw had 19 carries (133 yards) to Brandon Jacobs‘ 9. Jacobs got the important carries and scored two Touchdowns. That fat bastard. DET put a lot of coverage on Hakeem Nicks (3 catches, 8 yards), which enabled Mario Manningham to do damage (4-51-1). Steve Smith carved out 70 yards.

Robert Meachem (71 yards, TD) and Lance Moore (57 yards, TD) continue to stuff the stat boxes against inferior secondaries. They get CLE this coming week. Score! Christopher Ivory busted out 158 yards on 15 carries against TB, bad news for Pierre Thomas owners. The more Ivory runs, the less carries PT will see when he comes back.

Carnell Williams continues to be awful (10 carries, 18 yards, Fumble Lost). Kareem Huggins is done (knee injury) and Earnest Graham has an issue with his hamstring. If Graham cannot suit up for Week 7, LaGarrette Blount could be useful against STL. Someone between Graham and Blount has to step up, Caddy sucks balls and doesn’t deserve any carries.

Dwayne Bowe caught 6 of 9 passes intended for him, it’s a miracle! The matchup was choice and Bowe didn’t disappoint (108 yards, 2 TD). Bowe gets the Jaguars and Bills next. This could be the best stretch of the season for D-Bowe and Matt Cassel.

Owen Daniels is building up some momentum (5-79) and should be back to full health after the bye week. Make sure he isn’t lingering around on your waiver wire. The quickness, explosiveness and Pro Bowl form are back.

Tom Brady looked OK without Moss by his side (292 yards, TD, 2 INT). BAL is the worst defense for opposing QB to play against (allowing 12.2 pts per game), so it wasn’t an easy test. Deion Branch pulled in 9 passes for 98 yards and a TD. Wes Welker did his usual thing (7-53). Aaron Hernandez had a good game (4-61). Brandon Tate did nothing, except rush for 22 yards.

Michael Bush didn’t do much (20 carries, 47 yards) to push Darren McFadden to the side. The OAK offense didn’t really do much anything at all.

After hauling in 33 receptions in five weeks, Frank Gore didn’t have a catch this week. I suppose the 149 rushing yards made up for that. Michael Crabtree has 220 yards and 2 TD in the past three weeks. The diva must be getting past the preseason drama. Vernon Davis now has three straight weeks with a TD.

Shonn Greene has been reduced to Jonathan Stewart status. He had 9 carries to LDT’s 16. LaDainian Tomlinson had two TD runs, including a 2 yard plunge. It’s all over for Greene owners. Abandon all hope. Mark Sanchez finally threw an INT, never thought I’d speak those words. Braylon Edwards caught his fourth TD in five games, package him and his beard in a trade if you can.

Kyle Orton didn’t reach 300 passing yards for the first time since Week One, never thought I’d speak those words either. Knowshon Moreno was back only to carry the ball 12 times (48 yards) and fumble. Hell, Tim Tebow had a better day on the ground than Knowshon did. That’s about as embarrassing as being a Tim Tebow fan.

Roy Williams caught three passes, two of them were for Touchdowns. He now has five TDs in three games. Do with that information what you will, but I’m not buying. I’d sell if I had him. It seems like Miles Austin either go nuts or does nothing this year. His 2 catch, 12 yard performance against the Vikes falls into the nothing category. Felix Jones had 14 carries (32 yards) to Marion Barber‘s 10 (31 yards). Felix did haul in 10 receptions (61 yards) though. Felix is getting more touches as of late, but he’ll have a tough matchup against NYG next week.

Brett Favre only threw the ball 19 times (118 yards, TD) in an attempt to conserve his arm.

Just when we thought Pierre Garcon couldn’t possibly be any dumber. He went and went and did something like this… AND TOTALLY REDEEMED HIMSELF!!! Garcon made a spectacular grab and had a great day with 103 yards and a TD. The bandwagon still has room for one more if you still want to go to Aspen. [The No.1 Catch of the Week] [57-yard TD]

Kenny Britt has four straight week with a TD.

Maurice Jones-Drew disappointed once again. 57 yards on 17 carries and no TD. MJD has one TD this season and is averaging 3.9 yards per carry. I’m getting sick and tired of listing MJD as a first round pick in the Fantasy Football Corporate Ladder. Expect a RD 2 ranking this Wednesday or Thursday until he does something, anything.

 

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