Children

Stream Pies: Week Eight

“Stream Pies” is for the children
Photo Credit: Zakysant

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEF teams who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). Below our recommendations are last week’s and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

Week Seven will probably go down as the worst performance in “Stream Pies” history. Two kickers failed to score four points and one of our defensive recommendations scored negative points. Does that mean you should ignore the advice in this column? Of course not, here’s why:

A) Like Mariano Rivera, a bad outing does not alter our approach. So expect the same fearlessness and creativity you’ve grown accustomed to in this feature.

B) We need the ad money. My kid’s gotta eat. You don’t hate children… do you?

With that out of the way, trust me with your soul as your boy Dudley Do Work gives you another set of kicker and DEF recommendations for the upcoming week. By the way, you’ve got something on your chin. It’s “Stream Pies” residue. Yum.

More after the jump:

Kicker Recommendations
When deciding on free agent kickers, you want to generally look for someone on a team that should be able to move the ball, but will have issues scoring TDs (i.e.- a team with a good passing game but a poor short-field running attack). A kicker’s skills and weather conditions are other factors to consider.

Week Seven obviously could’ve gone better, but we have some gems lined up for Week Eight.

Week Seven Results (Points calculated with Yahoo! default settings)
Dan Carpenter: 10 points
Nick Novak: 3 points
Josh Brown: 1 point
Average for top ranked K in Y! scoring: 11 points (John Casey)
Average for “Stream Pies:” 10.29 points

Week Eight Recommendations
1 – Mike Nugent at SEA
2 – Ryan Longwell at CAR
3 – Josh Scobee at HOU
4 – Graham Gano at BUF

Team Defense (DEF) Recommendations
A truly pathetic performance by the Titans defense slightly crippled my growing weekly score. They allowed 35 points, didn’t execute a single turnover, and made a QB making his first NFL start feel perfectly comfortable in the pocket. Tennessee Titans: welcome to Starbonell’s defensive doghouse. Sentencing? The remainder of the 2011 season. And yes, I know they face the Colts this week. Doesn’t matter.

Your boy Kid Clutch isn’t too concerned with the horrid showing last week. After all, the otherwise atrocious Broncos defense raked in a solid eight points and there should be plenty of smooth recommendations the rest of the way.

Week Seven Results (Points calculated with Yahoo! default settings)
Denver Broncos: 15 points allowed, 4 sacks, fumble recovery = 8 points
Tennessee Titans: 35 points allowed = -4 points
Average for top ranked DEF in Y! scoring: 13.10 points (NY Jets)
Average for “Stream Pies:” 7.33 points

Week Eight Recommendations
Seattle Seahawks vs. CIN
The ‘Hawks have been surprisingly effective against the pass, allowing just six passing TDs on the year. Seattle has been good against the run as well, giving up just 3.10 YPC to opposing backs. They’re also a bitch to play against at home, where Qwest Field still reigns as one of the loudest football stadiums in the league. Cincinnati has some players and I actually believe Bernard Scott is an upgrade over Cedric Benson, but a team this young is bound to struggle in such a tough road environment.

Cleveland Browns at SF
Okay, so the Browns are vulnerable to the running game and TEs, which are the major offensive strengths of the 49ers. Still, I’m rolling with the Browns this week. Alex Smith is doo-doo and is facing a pretty tough secondary. The Browns showed last week they can play a defensive game and I have a feeling the scoring in this one will be of the “low” variety. Also, Josh Cribbs has yet to really go off this year in the return game so he’s due for a special teams TD.

 

Starbonell

About Starbonell

Starbonell is the co-founder of Sons of Roto and one of the most insightful and colorful fantasy analysts in the game. Mixing intelligent and well-researched advice with an entertaining style of writing that is easy to digest, Starbonell is the king of info-tainment.

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