Week 7 Action

Ummmm, Kenny Britt had 225 yards receiving and caught all 3 of Kerry Collins‘ TD passes. In case you’re wondering, that’s pretty good. Britt now has five straight games with a TD. That’s pretty good too. Even more amazing, Britt is owned in only 65% of Yahoo! leagues. If you matched up against Britt in any of your leagues, feel free to grumble in the comments. Week Seven was a week for venting or celebrating, mostly venting for me. [Kenny Britt Music Video Highlights]

Jason Avant (6-60) and Riley Cooper (3-51-1) picked up the slack left behind by DeSean Jackson. The Eagles are hoping for DJax and Michael Vick to make their returns after the team’s Week Eight bye.

Thomas Jones ran for a TD. Jamaal Charles ran for a TD. Jackie Battle ran for a TD? Who the hell is Jackie Battle? Could we possibly come up with a more conflicting name? Did his parents want to balance out the hardened, tough surname with a woman’s first name? Jackie isn’t someone you need to know about, he just scored a garbage time TD in the blowout over JAC.

Dwayne Bowe didn’t disappoint against an easy matchup (3-81-2). That’s two weeks in a row with 2 TD. I don’t think his value will be any higher than it is now, his next three matchups look to a slight degree of difficulty. BUF allows 11th fewest points to opposing WR, OAK the 5th fewest and DEN the 9th fewest. Nnamdi and Champ? Yikes. Put Bowe on the trade block and see if you can find someone who is willing to pay for those four recent Touchdowns.

MJD had a disappointing day on the ground (16 attempts, 47 yards), yet again. He did catch a TD pass from Todd Bouman, but I’m not convinced he is operating at full health. Those knee injury rumors from the preseason are probably comparable to what Matt Forte went through last season when he lost his burst and top end speed. MJD is rushing for 3.8 yards per carry (4.5 career average) and his longest run so far is only 23 yards. Through seven games last season, he had at least seven runs that were longer than that.

Mike Sims-Walker caught a TD (3-38-1). Not only is his place in the Corporate Ladder secure, MSW is going to make a huge jump in the ranks. All the way from 100, up to 99.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`’Tis Ryan Fitzpatrick,’ I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door –
Only this, and nothing more.’

Ryan Fitzpatrick whooped ass on the Ravens, to the tune of 374 yards and 4 TD (2 INT). That makes 11 TD (and 116 rushing yards) for the Ivy League MVP in the past four games and that also includes a matchup against the Jets. Steve Johnson (8-158-1) now has 5 TD in his past four games. If you benched Lee Evans (6-105-3), please admit your mistake in the comment section, so I don’t have to be alone with my beating heart.

A week after carrying the ball zero times, Willis McGehee was back to stealing TDs from Ray Rice. He may be a Raven, but Willis is truly a vulture.

Facing the team that gives up the 7th most points to opposing Quarterbacks, Drew Brees… well, I guess 356 yards and 2 TD are good, but he threw 4 INT and the Saints were manhandled by the Browns. The Browns have beaten the defending Super Bowl champs three years running (NYG, PIT, NO). Marques Colston finally(!) had his first 100-yard game and added a garbage time TD. Brees may have had 356 yards passing, but only Colston had more than 50 yards receiving. Chris Ivory had a quiet day (48 yards rushing). The PT Job Security Threat Level has been reduced from a Code Yellow (Significant Threat of Ivory Attempts) to a Code Blue (General Risk of Ivory Attempts).

Jay Cutler completed six passes to Johnny Knox (86 yards, TD), four passes to Earl Bennett (76 yards) and four passes to DeAngelo Hall (92 yards, TD). DeAngelo is a Skins Cornerback, by the way. Jay Cutler was sacked four times and threw four picks. The Mike Martz reactions were great. [INT Replays and Hilarious Quote]

Ryan Torain ran for 125 yards on 21 carries (fumble lost). Torain has back-to-back 100-yard games and a 4.6 YPC. Clinton Portis could be back after the Skins’ Week Nine bye, but he should be used as a third down back. That’s just my opinion, I’m not trying to predict what Mike Shanahan is going to do.

Roddy White had 201 yards receiving. Five other Falcons combined for 98 yards receiving. Apparently Marvin Lewis doesn’t know anything about the Falcons. Harry Douglas (42 targets), Tony Gonzalez (47 targets), Roddy White (82 targets). You might want to double and triple cover the only guy Matt Ryan targets. Just a thought Marv. [Roddy White Highlights and Some Awful Announcing]

Welcome back Michael Turner (121 yards, 2 TD). We missed you.

Chad Ochocinco caught 10 passes for 108 yards and a TD. His only two TDs on the season have come at the end of meaningless games. I guess trash talking and garbage time production go hand-in-hand. Jordan Shipley (131 yards) came back from a concussion and scored his first career TD. TO had 88 yards and a TD. Carson Palmer threw for 412 yards and 3 TD. [More Overrated: Carson or TO?]

Davone Bess scored from 26 yards out, but Dan Carpenter (5 FG) put up the most fantasy points among all Dolphins. That’s usually not a good thing. Ricky Williams (48 yards) was the games leading rusher (Brown 14 yards, Mendenhall 37 yards).

Hines Ward (7-131-1 on Sunday) already has 20 more yards in two games with Big Ben than he had in four games with the backups. Mike Wallace (2-53-1) did his usual thing, catch a long pass for a TD. That is 559 yards and 5 TD in two games for Ben Roethlisberger.

DeAngelo Williams had 19 carries against the Niners, so technically he still hasn’t had 20 carries in a game yet. To add injury to insult (you like that?), he hurt his foot towards the end of the game. The foot sprain is considered to be a day-to-day thang so we’ll just have to keep an eye on Friday’s practice. CAR travels to STL next. Here’s an imaginary conversation I had with DWill (he drives me crazy like that):

DWill: “That’s as good as money, MDS. Those are I.O.U.’s. Go ahead and add it up, every yard’s accounted for. Look, see this? That’s a game against STL. 150 yards and 2 TD. Might wanna hang onto that one.”

Matt Moore passed for 308 yards and 2 TD. Holy crap. He did throw an awful interception (pick six), but anyone who has a piece of the CAR pass/run game has to like these results nonetheless. I just might be able to bring back the Matt “Gimme Some” Moore nickname. Steve Smith returned from his ankle sprain and was good for 50 yards (fumble lost), rookie Brandon Lafell hauled in 91 yards and fellow rookie David Gettis caught 8 passes for 125 yards and 2 TD. The Gettis line is painful because I had him benched while playing Darrius Heyward-Bey in a matchup I needed to win (20-team league) and I made light of Gettis on a Starbonell Station podcast a few weeks back. Gettis actually leads the team in receptions (18) and receiving yards (244), scary thought.

Alex Smith is questionable to face Denver in London after injuring his shoulder against the Panthers. Charles Smith drove Smith’s shoulder into the ground and left him in a sling. That’s bad news for Vernon Davis (4-74-1, most, if not all via Smith) and Michael Crabtree (4-31). David Carr looked like crap (5 for 13 with a INT). Maybe Jamarcus Russell is available. That would be an interesting trio of Quarterbacks. The Three Bustateers.

LeGarrette Blount rushed for 72 yards on 11 carries. Carnell Williams is losing carries fast and is quickly becoming a third down back. I played LeGarrette in a couple leagues this week, so you know I’m supportive of people picking up the 4% owned sucker puncher. I have a buddy who specializes in sucker punching people so I’m supportive of that too. The only thing that stands in the way of LeGarrette being a Flex play in standard leagues is Earnest Graham. I don’t know who is going to get the goal line carries. Earnest was out this week, which was why I played Blount. Going forward, the situation remains murky.

I don’t know why Sam Bradford and the Rams didn’t take more shots down field against the Bucs. Bradford may have thrown for 2 TD, but the 126 yards was a big disappointment. So much for the emergence of Danario Alexander. I was hoping for a big game here and he caught one pass for six yards. Ugggghhh. I haven’t quite given up on him yet, but it’ll probably happen after CAR (3rd toughest against WR) shuts him down.

Max Hall or Derek Anderson, Derek Anderson or Max Hall, it doesn’t matter. The Cardinals suck. Hall was questionable to play after failing concussion tests, played anyway and left the game with a head injury. Good job Whisenhunt. Secret knee surgeries and playing concussed Quarterbacks. I’m not listing any stats from the Cards offense, just assume everyone sucked because they did.

Marshawn Lynch had 24 carries (89 yards) to Justin Forsett‘s 9 (41 yards). Mike Williams caught 11 passes for 87 yards and a TD. Williams and Ocho led the league in targets this past week with 16. BMW will be promoted to Top 100 status this week.

With Malcom Floyd out and Antonio Gates playing through a foot issue, Ryan Mathews‘ number was called only 8 times. Eight! I’m getting angry. Mike Tolbert had two carries, including a 1-yard goal line plunge. Now I’m getting really angry. Ryan Mathews is looking at a major downgrade in the Corporate Ladder. Stay tuned. Goosefraba…

Patrick Crayton (7-82) and Buster Davis (6-53) filled in well for Malcom Floyd and Legedu Naane. Floyd is expected to miss another week, but Naane is expected to be back for Week Eight. Crayton should be semi-useful once again.

Tom Brady had a weak performance (159 yards, TD). Technically SD is the toughest matchup for QBs according to, but SD hadn’t faced any good QB up until now. Aaron Hernandez (5-54) led the team in receiving this week and continues to lead the Patriots in receiving yards on the year. BenJarvus Green-Ellis didn’t have a great game (11 attempts, 24 yards), but he did score a TD for the fourth straight week.

Oakland Raiders 59. Denver Broncos 14. That is not a typo. Darren McFadden came back and exploded for 196 total yards and 4 TD on 18 touches. DEN used to be one of the top defenses against the run, but Ray Rice, LDT and McFadden put an end to that. Now DEN is one of the worst against the run. The times are a changing. Michael Bush didn’t miss out on the fun, he had 52 yards and a TD. That’s quite useful, but damn Gina, that’s nothing compared to what Run DMC did. I used to be embarrassed about my numerous Rd 3 picks of McFadden last year, but now I’m almost proud. [Must Watch McFadden Highlights]

The Denver offense was somewhat stagnant. Kyle Orton (198 yards, 2 TD, INT) was useful, but the wideouts didn’t get any of that TD action. Knowshon Moreno (90 total yards) caught both. I guess Knowshon has to have one good game during the season. Brandon Lloyd has his worst game of the season, one catch for 46 yards. That’s not too shabby for a worst game. Larry Fitzgerald has beaten that only three times so far.

Brett Favre threw 3 INT and then Brad Childress threw him under the bus. I’m guessing it’s because he found out that Brett has a bigger dong than him. The guy who traded up to overdraft Tarvaris Jackson has no right to talk down on any one person, especially a QB. I’m hoping is as effective as the FireKevinMcHale website was. I miss you Denny Green! Adrian Peterson ran over the Pack (131 yards, TD, 41 yards rec.), Randy Moss (30 yards) caught a TD and Visanthe Shiancoe had a TD overturned that was obviously a catch. Boo-urns.

Donald Driver didn’t have a single catch against the Vikes. His playing time was limited because of a thigh injury, but this was the first time he was held without a catch since 2001 (140 games). Sucks for him, but James Jones had a fantastic game (107 yards). The timeless Donnie D may never retire, but if he does James Jones’ value would skyrocket (dynasty leagues). Andrew Quarless caught his first career TD. Donald Lee and him are splitting time after Jermichael Finley hit the IR, so Quarless isn’t really the most fantasy relevant TE out there, but he has the potential to be useful as a bye week filler.

Not to be outdone by Kenny Britt and Lee Evans, Dez Bryant caught two TD passes from John Kitna and returned a punt for one more. John Kitna? Yep, Tony Romo‘s season is basically over. Broken collar bone, out 6-10 weeks. Likely to hit the IR, the Cowgirls are 1-5 after the loss to the Giants of New York and are playing for draft picks. Kitna fared well in relief (16 for 33, 187 yards, 2 TD). He’s likely to be useful with all the weapons surrounding him and Jason Garrett calling the plays. We’re going to have to downgrade Miles Austin (38 yards) though. [Dez Bryant Punt Return TD] [Tony Romo Injury]

Where to start with the Giants? Eli Manning threw for 306 yards and 4 TD, but also threw 3 INT. Hakeem Nicks pretty much solidified himself as a Rd 2 pick next season with 108 yards and 2 TD. Even Steve Smith had 101 yards and a TD. His only other 100-yard game (vs TEN) was mostly garbage time production. This one was legit. We’re not done. Ahmad Bradshaw ran for 126 yards on 24 carries, which makes him the first RB to reach 700 yards. The Giants are entering their bye week so consider Ahmad’s term as the NFL leading rusher a short one. Even Brandon Jacobs had a good game (75 yards, TD). On a down note, each RB lost a fumble. Five Turnovers and they still got the W. I think those are some of the lyrics to Ice Cube’s Today Was a Good Day.