Week Nine Review

M-Ike Turner pimp slapped the Bucs (107 yards, 2 TD) and like a beaten woman, Tampa Bay will be welcome M-Ike back into her house come Week 13. You might not believe me when you read this, but Tony Gonzalez had 72 yards receiving. This is only the second time Tony G has had more than 41 yards on the day. Shocking indeed.

LeGarrette Blount part II wasn’t as good as the original. Like most sequels, many were left disappointed. Blount was given only 13 carries (46) while the team wasted their time giving Carnell Williams 8 carries (13 yards). Tampa may be 5-3, but you have to question the intelligence of anyone who gives carries to that washed up has-been. Rookie of the Year candidate Mike Williams finished the day with 89 yards and a TD, he now has five TD on the season. As my homie Borat would say, “It’s a very nice”.

Phillip Rivers to Seyi Ajirotutu, Phillip Rivers to Randy McMichael, Phillip Rivers to Randy McMichael, Phillip Rivers to Seyi Ajirotutu. The Houston pass defense (worst in the league) definitely helped the cause, but Phillip Rivers is damn near unstoppable it seems. Rivers faces the toughest opponent in the NFL next week, the Bye week. McMichael (2-23-2) and Ajirotutu (4-111-2) will likely be the waiver wire flavors of the week, but they could be useless when SD gets back on the field come Week 11. Malcom Floyd (hamstring), Legedu Naanee (hamstring) and Antonio Gates (toe) should be healthy enough to play. The week after that, Vincent Jackson will be eligible to play. That’s a lot of firepower for Mr. Rivers. In other news, Ryan Mathews aggravated his sprained ankle. Technically, Mathews isn’t worthless, but it sure feels that way.

You gotta love Michael Vick. OK, you don’t have to love him, but I do (because he’s on two of my teams). Vick’s 74 rushing yards and TD were enough for a solid day, but he’s a QB so those are just the bonus points that come with the 218 passing yards and TD. Vick was targeting DeSean Jackson (welcome back to you too) early and often, connecting with DJax for a 9-yard TD after a big run by LeSean McCoy in the opening drive. Jackson finished the day with 7 catches, 109 yards and the TD. McCoy ended up with 103 total yards. [32-yard Video Game Run by Vick] [Vick to DJax for 59 Yards] [Badass 62-yard Run by McCoy]

Donald Brown started for Indy and received the majority of the workload (15 carries), but it was Javarris James who scored the Colts’ two rushing Touchdowns. If you’re counting at home, that’s one TD for Donald on the season and two for Javarris James. That’s gotta sting a little. Reggie Wayne (11-83) led the league with 16 targets in Week Niner. Jacob Tamme caught 11 passes for 108 yards and a TD! I thought the Bill Polian quote about Tamme being able to do the same things in the offense that Dallas Clark could do were just the typical fluff you read in every interview, but he’s proving to be a great fantasy asset. In the year of the fallen TE, Tamme is easily a top five option and climbing. [Austin Collie Concussion]

Arian Foster led the team in rushing yards (127) and receiving yards (70) and he even tied for the team lead in passing TD (0). He scored Houston’s only two Touchdowns (from 8 and 2 yards out), I only wish I had drafted him in more leagues. Three isn’t enough, I’m greedy like that.

Brett Favre threw for a career high 446 yards (2 TD, 2 INT) and led the team to a come-from-behind OT victory, possibly saving Brad Childress’ job in the process. I was actually rooting against the Vikes in hopes of speeding up the process of removing Chilly. Adrian Peterson did his usual thing (144 total yards, 2 TD) and Percy Harvin caught 9 passes for 126 yards (Fumble Lost). Even Bernard Berrian had a good day (9-89), only the Cardinals can make him look good.

Beanie Wells had one single carry against the Vikings (for negative two yards). They say he had an “allergic reaction” to a lubricant shot which causing swelling in his knee. Apparently the mechanic at Jiffy Lube used the wrong stuff. I’m selling anything Whisenhunt says after that secret surgery debacle. I’d offer my condolences to those invested in Beanie, but I have Ryan Mathews on two teams and Tim Hightower didn’t do much (39 yards) in Beanie’s absence. Derek Anderson had a mixed day, he didn’t throw a pick, but he did help the Vikings double their season total in Sacks (6 in Week 9). Larry Fitzgerald had another good game (7-107), maybe the Anderson-Fitzgerald connection could prosper after all.

Matt Moore is done. He tore his labrum (sounds like a feminine injury, but it’s his shoulder) and his career with Carolina could be over. Normally this wouldn’t be of note, but Steve Smith‘s value takes a big hit here. We don’t know if John Fox will start Jimmy Clausen (please no) or Tony Pike (rookie). Smith had one catch for nine yards against New Orleans. Also injured was Jonathan Stewart (concussion). The CAR o-line was opening holes for him, but his day ended with only five carries and a Lost Fumble. Not a good year for Panther fans.

Peyton Hillis demoralized the Patriots, rushing for 184 yards and 2 TD on 29 carries. He added 36 yards receiving for good measure. Add Hillis to the list of bad moves made by Josh McDaniels in Denver. The Browns have now beaten the Saints and Patriots in back-to-back games.

What happens when the unstoppable force and immovable object collide? BenJarvus Green-Ellis got his ass kicked by the immovable object. BJGE had 14 yards on 9 carries and no score. The TD streak ends at five games. Just because the CLE defense is immovable doesn’t mean you can’t go around or over it. Tom Brady threw for two TD, both to Aaron Hernandez (the first of his career). Aaron’s 48 yards receiving led the team, he has a good 80-yard lead over Wus Welker (4-36) now. [Hernandez Deflected Pass TD]

Chester Taylor (13 yards on 10 carries) scored the Bears’ first goal line TD of the season. Matt Forte (61 total yards) never punched one through (numerous tries) and didn’t do much damage against one of the league worst defenses against opposing RB. Jay Cutler connected with Greg Olsen (29 yards) and Earl Bennett (52 yards) for a couple of short yardage Touchdowns.

Steve Johnson didn’t reach the endzone for the first time since Week 2, but he had a productive day nonetheless (11-145). Ryan Fitzpatrick threw for 299 yards and a TD (2 INT) and Fred Jackson (16 yards) scored a TD.

Joe Flacco continued his hot streak, throwing for 266 yards (20 for 27) with 2 TD and zero INT. He now sports a 11 to 1 TD to INT ratio after throwing 4 INT in Week 2. He’s no Joey Karate (must watch), but Flacco will be making an appearance in the Corporate Ladder later this week. Ray Rice (7-97) and Willis McGahee (3-42-1) had a lot of production through the air. Rice also had 83 yards on the ground. It was a good day for both backs. The Miami defense looked pretty pathetic on the McGahee TD, I must say. Derrick Mason (4-42) was the recipient of the second Flacco TD. [McGahee 32-yard TD]

Ronnie Brown had 45 yards and a TD on the Dolphins opening drive and then rushed for 14 yards during the rest of the game. Ricky Williams failed to upstage Ronnie, rushing for one whole yard on two carries. Combine that with Chad Henne‘s 3 INT (no TD) and the Dolphins were lucky to lose to the Ravens by only 16 points.

At one point during the fourth quarter, the Lions were beating the Jets 20-10. And then Matt Stafford hurt his shoulder (again). And the Lions lost in overtime. Stafford is not expected to be back for next week, he’s weak like that. Hopefully Shaun Hill (broken left forearm) will be ready for the Week 10 tilt @BUF. Jahvid Best‘s 84 total yards wasn’t anything to write home about, but it’s a good day considering he was up against the top ranked defense against opposing RB. Nate Burleson pulled down 7 catches for 113 yards with a TD, solidifying himself as Detroit’s best WR. Eat it Calvin Johnson! OK, I went a little overboard there, but Burleson may have lined up an interview for a position in the Corporate Ladder. [Stafford Injury]

Santonio Holmes (5-114) and Braylon Edwards (3-78-1) didn’t get permission from Donnypump, but they went ahead anyway and had themselves a couple of good games. Mark Sanchez had his first 300-yard game of the season and career. Too bad he gets Detroit only one time every four years. LaDainian Tomlinson (21 touches, 89 total yards) and Shonn Greene (12 touches, 54 total yards) had relatively disappointing games considering they were up against one of the worst defenses against opposing RB.

Ugghhh, the NYG-SEA boxscore is dominated by one team. Let’s just throw out some numbers: Eli Manning (290 yards, 3 TD), Hakeem Nicks (6-128-1), Steve Smith (4-46-1), Ahmad Bradshaw (92 total yards, TD) and Brandon Jacobs (78 rushing yards). The End. [Eli-Nicks 46-yard TD]

Dwayne Bowe is a lucky man. Last week he did next to nothing, but scarfed up a 1-yard TD to save his day and this week Asomugha didn’t suit up for the Raiders. Bowe hauled in 5 catches for 63 yards and a TD and now has a Touchdown in four straight games (6 total during that span). Jamaal Charles owners have to hate seeing only 10 carries (53 yards) against the Raiders, but the story lines coming out of KC say that Charles is dealing with a few injury issues. He did come out of the game and was attended to by the trainers, but he was able to get back in there and play. Thomas Jones didn’t do much with the 19 carries he had (32 yards).

Darren McFadden piled up 114 total yards on 21 touches (Fumble Lost) and Jacoby Ford had 148 yards receiving and a kickoff return TD. That was pretty much all of Oakland’s offense. Michael Bush didn’t do anything (17 yards), DHB literally did nothing (thanks buddy) and the Marcel Reece TD streak (a whopping two-game streak) came to an end. I’m not sure how much value Ford will have going forward, the Raiders have a bye next week and Louis Murphy is expected back (lung) after that. It’s doubtful, but we could even have some Chaz Schilens (knee) sightings. I’m just assuming that we’ll never see Chaz this season though.

I watched some of the Dallas-Green Bay game. It was pitiful. The announcers were just trashing Dallas. It didn’t take long for them to be down 28-0 and we all knew what was going to happen from there. Wade Phillips has been fired, Jason Garrett (the former Quarterback, Quarterback Coach and Offensive Coordinator) will step up and take the role many assumed he would get for years. Looking at his resume, you can safely assume that Dallas will continue throwing the ball on every down. You have to love Dez Bryant (9-86-1) going forward, John Kitna and the rookie have a bromance going on. Bryant’s best games of the season have come with Kitna at QB.

James Jones made up for the 0-for in Week 8 by snagging 8 receptions for 123 yards and a TD. Dynasty leaguers can’t wait for Donald Driver to exit stage right. Greg Jennings continued his hot streak (7-80-1), Brandon Jackson had 68 total yards and 2 TD and even Clay Matthews caught a TD pass (from John Kitna). Aaron Rodgers finished the day with 289 yards passing with 3 TD, he added 41 rushing yards for style points.

As much as I don’t like Terrell Owens, you have to give him props for what he’s doing. Facing Pittsburgh, T.O. had 10 receptions for 141 yards and 2 TD. He now has a TD in five straight games (7 total TD during that stretch) and leads the league in targets. As much as I hate to admit it, T.O. is a top 5 or 6 WR. I’ve seen others claiming he is the No.2 WR, but I can’t go that far. They could be right though. OchoCinco on the other hand… not so much. The horse racing, happy meal eating, loud mouth team mate of T.O. caught a single pass for 15 yards. That’s it. The only two Touchdowns Ocho has caught came at the end of meaningless games (garbage time). Chad Johnson is a bigger reality TV star than he is a NFL WR these days. That Jordan Shipley dropped pass in the endzone saved a match-up for me. Yes!!! [TO’s 150th TD and Mime Celebration]

Rashard Mendenhall had 22 carries (99 yards, TD). This was nice to see after he had back-to-back games with 15 carries. Mike Wallace continue his big play-making ways, catching 5 passes for 110 yards and a TD. The TD was a 39-yard pass from Antwaan Randle El. Hiney Warts (10 yards) caught a TD too. Ben Roethlisberger had a so-so game (163 yards, TD, INT) and may be looking at a drop-off in the Corporate Ladder after back-to-back ho hum games. [Randle El to Wallace]